We all have a story to tell when it comes to the pandemic and the way in which it has challenged us to adjust to a not-so-familiar way of life.
Who can forget the amount of unlimited time at home so many of us had at the start of the pandemic.
I really tried to maintain any bit of normalcy. I attempted physical therapy on my own, and forced my son to do the same. I’m sure this was his least favorite part of being able to stay home from school.
I then tried yoga and realized I had no idea how to breathe or relax.
I learned how to French braid my hair and unfortunately how to cut my own bangs, which ended up being a 4-day process after I saw myself in the mirror the next day and realized how bad it looked.
I kept plugging along through all these odd moments, trying to stay close to God.
I joined a women’s group through my church to stay connected. Zoom was quite interesting and having to talk in front of others was definitely trying for me. I never really got the hang of it.
Making Sense Of Feeling Disconnected
In the long days that followed, something more serious was weighing heavy within my heart. I felt completely disconnected from my church and I was scared. I no longer had that place, that building that meant so much.
As I tried to watch online and later attend outside services, I couldn’t break this feeling. My viewpoint became that of an outsider, watching from afar.
The pandemic was creating a mix of emotions and questions that I couldn’t make sense of. A fear to be around large groups lingered in my thoughts. I even told myself this would be a good time to step away and take a break. I talked myself out of volunteering, even remotely. I pulled away from letting my church family embrace me during a time of weariness.
This was a mistake on my part because God did not create a path for us that includes seclusion.
“Without guidance, people fall, but with many counselors, there is deliverance.”
Proverbs 11:14 HCSB
I had to stop living in the new norm, alone in my thoughts.
Sit Before The Lord To Renew Your Spirit
As church services returned on site, I made a commitment to go and to keep going. I knew it was time to sit before the Lord and open myself up to Him.
So much had changed, so many faces I knew were no longer in the crowd. Here again, I felt a heaviness. I knew the pandemic was likely affecting others in a similar way. My church family was changing before my eyes, without any notice.
Through everything, God’s presence was the one thing that remained. He met me every time I took my seat in the second row.
That uneasy, disconnected feeling began to wear away as God renewed my spirit again. And my heart was finally open to hear the Lord’s message.
“You can start again,” He told me.
I knew exactly what He was referring to – I can start connecting again, with Him by my side, my love for Him leading me, and sharing that love with others.
On several occasions the Lord reminded me of this verse …
“You have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember then how far you have fallen, repent and do the works you did at first.”
Revelation 2:4-5 HCSB
I was so wrapped up in the fact that I felt disconnected that I stopped connecting at all. I needed to humble myself and serve Jesus again. Not for the church, or to make myself feel better, but purely for Him.
To share the love and acceptance the Lord has shown me was my original mission when I became a volunteer. That is where I started. I needed to obey the Lord and go back to that action.
There are not many instances where the Lord asks us to go back, so I knew the importance of His request.
The Lord Brings Light To Every Situation
Since then, I have rediscovered the joy of the Lord. A big part of that is seeing people’s lives changed when He meets them. I get to be a part of this and that is joyous. This has also pushed me to start sharing my testimony again, outside of church.
Jesus wanted me to see the importance of fellowship and being a part of His team. We all have a different role, but each one of us is needed.
“Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another.”
Romans 12:4-5 HCSB
We can all support each other in different ways, especially when life is getting the best of us.
Feeling disconnected is common and you’re not alone if you feel this way at church, at work, or even at home with your family. Sometimes, it’s hard to find the reason behind this feeling. There is just so much more to learn, but if we can release that emotion by talking about it, we can begin to move forward.
Keep seeking God through it. Turn to His word, because He will always guide you and bring clarity.
For you, it may not be about volunteering or more fellowship, but you can feel God pulling you in a certain direction. Come before Him and He will reveal more.
God is bringing light through this pandemic, teaching us more about our faith and what it means to depend on Him.
The following verse gives us three actions that we can always apply in our lives.
“Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.”
Romans 12:12 HCSB
Break this verse down, separating each point.
Write down what each point means to you. How can you apply this daily?
Beautifully said! Thank you Danette. I believe this is happening to many from the pandemic. It turned our lives upside down.